In court on January 27, 2011, it was agreed that Aiden's mother would have Aiden call me every Thursday between 5-7 PM and every Sunday between 4-6 PM (Pacific Time). These two 2-hour call windows were at her request, as she claimed that my scheduled calls to Aiden at a set time were inconvenient, particularly if he was eating or otherwise engaged in an activity.
Today, he called 25 minutes before the scheduled call window, only saying that he didn’t want to talk to me. I tried to ask him if he got my postcard and to tell him that an Easter gift was coming. He said “bye” and the call was promptly disconnected. I attempted to call his mother back, to inform her that this too-early hang-up call was not acceptable. It was answered, although no one spoke directly to me. I overheard Aiden's grandmother say that I was probably just calling to ask why Aiden had called early. Then the call was disconnected. I called one last time to ask why the call was early. No one spoke to me, and the call was promptly disconnected.
An hour later (half an hour into the call window), I received an unexpected call with what sounded like live opera music in the background. I said, "Hi Aiden!" several times, but got no response. For about ten minutes, I heard the music, but no voice at the phone; then the call was disconnected.
A couple of things really bother me about this call. First, she did not even have the common courtesy to reschedule the call, despite knowing Aiden would be busy during the scheduled call window. Second, not only did she call at a time outside the call window without notifying me, but it seems she chose to call just before the event started (probably at 4 PM). Being on your way out the door or already en route is not setting up a call for success. Also, think of the messages she's sending to Aiden by twice hanging up on me right in front of him--that it's OK to treat someone you don't like badly, and that his daddy doesn't deserve respect or courtesy.
Why didn't she just make a quick call to me earlier in the day asking for a different call time? Why has she failed to make 5 of the 25 (20%) court-ordered scheduled calls since court on January 27, 2011? ( 2/10, 3/6, 3/17, 3/27, 4/10 links to actual recordings) Maybe because she would have to believe that a little boy should have a consistent relationship with the father who loves him. Maybe because that would require her to set aside her overwhelming anger--so great that she refuses to speak on the phone to me-and put Aiden's needs first. And those are things she simply cannot do.
