Wednesday afternoon was a scheduled call from Aiden. In the few seconds I got to talk to Aiden about last weekend's trip to my home, he said he liked the nearby park and my landlord's dog. We were having a conversation, as opposed to the all-too-frequent, "I don't want to talk to you, Daddy. 'Bye." calls I get.
Then the call was dropped after 57 seconds. I know it was dropped (meaning Aiden did not hang up) because my cell phone display read "CALL LOST."
I immediately called Aiden's mother's cell phone and home phone numbers, saying that the call was dropped, I did NOT hang up, and I would like her to call back so I could continue to speak to Aiden.
Nothing. No response.
Aiden's mom tells the world she wants me to have a relationship with Aiden, and does her utmost to foster that relationship. But tonight's call was very clear example of how she does almost nothing to ACTUALLY make a relationship possible. Everything she does is for show. When she makes the court-ordered two calls per week--which she does not do consistently-- she prompts Aiden to hang up or, like tonight, never calls back. If you doubt this, I would be more than happy to show you my phone records and have you listen to the recordings of the calls.
Nothing Aiden's mom does is in good faith. When I requested to attend Aiden's doctor's appointment during my last trip to California, she sent me only the address of the giant medical facility where the appointment was; she never told me the name of the doctor. When I did manage to attend the appointment--much to her surprise--and had to leave immediately afterward to attend a conference with Aiden's teachers, she never told me at the time that Aiden had another appointment--a follow-up with a specialist--immediately after the first appointment. She only casually mentioned in an e-mail later that they had seen another doctor after I had left. I'm sure she didn't "forget" to mention the second of two back-to-back appointments . It was clearly done deliberately to exclude me from actually being present at Aiden's medical care. Then she sent me a message about the second appointment so she can claim, "Oh, I told Rick about that--I sent him an email." Her bad faith knows no bounds.
Since she claimed that Aiden needed to see his therapist in order to process having an overnight visit with me (I'm not even going to get into how strange that is, given the amount of time Aiden has spent happily with me), I asked Aiden's mom for the therapist's name. She sent me only the first name of the therapist, along with the name of the giant medical center where this person supposedly works. Ummmm... first names are not enough, Aiden's mom...if you were really sincere about including me in Aiden's "treatment"--and isn't this all about Aiden seeing ME overnight--wouldn't you include the therapist's last name,as well?
No? I thought not. It's all about the ability to say "But I sent Rick that information!" without actually sending me any information I can act on--for example, actually call the therapist. It's all show with Aiden's mom...she rarely, if ever, does anything in good faith. I challenge her to to do anything in good faith--I will certainly post it.
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Sunday, December 4, 2011
A Sunday with Aiden
I had a really nice visit with Aiden today. When I picked him up, I saw that he had brought with him a change of clothes (A thank you to Aiden's mom for sending extra clothes yesterday that Aiden ended up using today, as the extra clothes that I had bought him got sent back with him a few visits ago.)
I brought Aiden to see the home that I just moved into. It took about an hour to drive there, and another hour to drive back, taking up half of the allotted four hours. However, I felt it was important for Aiden to see where he's going to be spending time with me. I want Aiden to be comfortable and happy at his second home. I let him explore the rooms, and showed him the bedroom that's going to be his. He was excited to have his own room, complete with a mural-sized map of the world on one wall. I showed him the Los Angeles dot, then showed him New York state. Someday, he'll have some understanding of how far away that is. I certainly do, given that my sweetheart is still there.
After showing him my apartment, we took a walk around the neighborhood. I specifically chose the apartment because it's in a very kid-friendly area, on a quiet cul-de-sac with sidewalks Aiden can ride a bike on, a fenced backyard where he can play safely and help me plant a garden, and lots of natural areas nearby to explore.
Then we drove a couple blocks (because Aiden didn't want to walk!) to the entrance to a hiking trail. Aiden enjoyed leading me down the path. I asked him what he should do if he saw a snake; he said, "Stop! And back up!" (Smart kid!) I'm really hoping to spend time outdoors with Aiden, to help him develop his "sense of wonder" about nature firsthand.
After hiking, we came back and made peanut butter sandwiches, then drove back to Long Beach. I sat on a bench in the church yard and read Aiden more of "James and the Giant Peach" while we waited for him to get picked up. I overheard an elderly husband exclaiming to his wife that "Aiden's dad is reading to Aiden!" It struck me as odd that they would think this was such a remarkable sight. What have they been told about me?
All in all, I had a very good time, and I think Aiden did too. It felt really good to finally see Aiden in my own home, even if it's as new to me as it is to him. Now that I'm back in California for good, I'm looking forward to many more times like this with my wonderful son.
I brought Aiden to see the home that I just moved into. It took about an hour to drive there, and another hour to drive back, taking up half of the allotted four hours. However, I felt it was important for Aiden to see where he's going to be spending time with me. I want Aiden to be comfortable and happy at his second home. I let him explore the rooms, and showed him the bedroom that's going to be his. He was excited to have his own room, complete with a mural-sized map of the world on one wall. I showed him the Los Angeles dot, then showed him New York state. Someday, he'll have some understanding of how far away that is. I certainly do, given that my sweetheart is still there.
After showing him my apartment, we took a walk around the neighborhood. I specifically chose the apartment because it's in a very kid-friendly area, on a quiet cul-de-sac with sidewalks Aiden can ride a bike on, a fenced backyard where he can play safely and help me plant a garden, and lots of natural areas nearby to explore.
Then we drove a couple blocks (because Aiden didn't want to walk!) to the entrance to a hiking trail. Aiden enjoyed leading me down the path. I asked him what he should do if he saw a snake; he said, "Stop! And back up!" (Smart kid!) I'm really hoping to spend time outdoors with Aiden, to help him develop his "sense of wonder" about nature firsthand.
After hiking, we came back and made peanut butter sandwiches, then drove back to Long Beach. I sat on a bench in the church yard and read Aiden more of "James and the Giant Peach" while we waited for him to get picked up. I overheard an elderly husband exclaiming to his wife that "Aiden's dad is reading to Aiden!" It struck me as odd that they would think this was such a remarkable sight. What have they been told about me?
All in all, I had a very good time, and I think Aiden did too. It felt really good to finally see Aiden in my own home, even if it's as new to me as it is to him. Now that I'm back in California for good, I'm looking forward to many more times like this with my wonderful son.
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